Leaving a Mark

Yáʼátʼééh...

     I had people who have been in and out of my life.  I do not wish or regret ever meeting them. For years,  I never could admit to myself that anyone played a part in my life. I was very stubborn. I always wanted to say I did it myself. Which was not true. They all had a part to be part of my journey through life with me. Having a boyfriend in High School was a deserting. I had classmates ask me why I was with an older man. And I didn't have an answer for them. I was young and didn't know any better. He was still a stepping stone. I eventually got tired of being in an average relationship. I wanted more. I was restricted from a lot of things I wanted. I ended the relationship. I met a couple of people, but never really made a difference in my life. I then met my children's father. He put me through so much. And I forgave him. For a long time I never gave him any credit for him a part in my life. I am a great mother because of him. I will never be stranded anywhere if my car's serpentine belt comes off. I am self sufficient. He was never around, so I did things on my own. I never could depend on him. His behavior made me a independent woman for my children. He can be a good man if he wanted to be. Lessons for learned from that relationship. I became a very strong woman. And we didn't see eye to eye at one point and we decided to call it off. I learned a lot from that man. Life went on and I met a man who had a band. Rock was his genre. I was impress with his guitar playing skills. He actually told me he wrote a song about me. I was so blown away. At that time in my life I wasn't looking to be in a relationship. He ended up falling for me and I couldn't love him the same way. So, I hurt him not intentionally but I just wasn't ready for a relationship. But my lesson learned was his ambition. He was a creative artistic person and he inspired me to pull my dreams back out and dust it off. He was a great part of my life. I was all out of love and I met another person. He was a little pushy and wanted things quick. A big dreamer. Never tried to make it. Just to depended on me. Wanted me to do everything. I felt more like a mother. And I knew this wasn't going to work. It did end, but not without hidden lesson. I trusted and open my heart enough to let him in. But it backfired and I was used for my car, my home and my kindness. I stopped trusting and I didn't want to love. I didn't give it a chance to grow. It was fast. I knew I had to slow down. Then a man came into my life at the most wrong time. I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was starting all over. I was up to my neck with trust issues. He completely approached me with a different outlook. He gave me support, he helped me, he encouraged me, he was there for everything I was going through and most of all he believed in me. He always said, "There is something about you." He saw me in a different light. He was a lesson in disguise. I was looking at myself and he made me see who I was. I learned I wasn't living my life at my full potential. And I tried to tell him loving him was the wrong time for me, but he held on anyway, but he ended up cheating on me and having a a baby with her. But my trust with him was gone and very hard to feel the same way. So we ended it. But with all these stories, I have learned a lot. Most of all my children are the most important who changed my life for the better. Every person in your life is there for a reason, you may not know at the moment. I didn't mention a few people who have affected me in ways I can't explain, but you are important to me and very special. I hope you know who you are. You have supported me, believed in me, dreamed with me and showed me lots of love. I thank you with all my heart. I hope you all enjoyed my blog. Lots of Love and Blessings to you...