Awareness

Hi there..

     First I’d like to say, I never knew what the real meaning behind the word awareness. I understand what it means. I accidentally came across this. The subject came up and had a discussion about it. I guess I was just a little naïve or maybe stubborn but I just never realize awareness was a strong word for me. A word that would sink in and change me. Not knowing the meaning, awareness was very difficult for me. I ignored signs, people trying to give advice and most important I ignored the teachings from family and friends. I just thought change was going to have to start with me. I had to be the one to just change things in my whole mindset or my home path on life or mine attitude would change and that was it I just need to practice more and I just need to keep doing it so I’ll change.

Yes. I know partly it has to start from me. But the real change starts from being aware. Admitting to yourself. Clarifying. To realize there is something there to be aware of. The discussion was very informative and made me think about a lot.

To be honest. I really thought everyone else had the issue. And my path of life was all behind me. But I just never had the time to face any of the issues or things in my life I have gone though. Raising children and trying to be focused on surviving takes a big piece of your life. At the time I guess I just figured that was life. You take care of your kids, work hard, and survive. I did not have time for anything emotional or concerned with my mental issues.

So too busy living and surviving, I did not notice I was suffering in silence with mental health. I always wondered about myself. Questioning why I was a certain way. And it is actually a really good thing for me. A lot of my questions have been answered. Doing my researches, reading books, listening to podcasts and concentrating on myself. It does start from being aware of your behavior, the way talk, what angle you see things, how you react to loved ones, and the tone you leave with people you love. I knew it was not a good feeling and I was embarrassed to admit I was wrong. That is when those questions would flood my mind. Why am I that way? Why am I so angry? Why do I get hurt so easily? I would just like to say it’s been a couple of years and I have been working on myself. This was a hard blog to write. I appreciate you reading and please let me know if you want more like this.

Thank you all for your support. And i hope you have lots of love and blessings..